What is "normal" today?

As parent of a grown gifted child, an ADHD child, and a bi-polar child who is gifted, I feel that my family will never be the "normal" that our society thinks it should be.  Our life is often kaotic, hectic, and messy.  I home school my two boys that are home, but yet I am thankful that they are home and not in this world that has become the outside.

I feel that the families in our society that we live in is no where near "normal".  Their families may not have the type of dynamics that my family is, but isn't that what makes us who we are?

I feel the word "normal" is way over rated, often we find ourselves wishing for the "normal" that others have, but truth be known  the grass is not greener on the other side. 

We all have what is "normal" in our life for our family.  My life may be hectic, messy, and often misunderstood by others, I accept it for the "normal" that it is, and I do not yearn to be in others shoes.    We all have our issues or matters that are different and God gives us we can handle on  a "normal" basis, and nothing more than that.

So if you find yourself thinking that your life will never be "normal", don't believe it for the life you have is "normal" for you and no else's "normal" would fit.  So hang in there and don't get discouraged, we are all normal just maybe a different kind of normal.

We are Blessed

Today is December 31st, the day before the New Year.  As I look back through this year I realize how much God has blessed me.  We have been through a lot of turmoil and God has helped us make it through it and made us stronger.

On November 27  I became very sick; I thought I had the flu.  I just babied myself and laid around for two days and figured I would feel better as the next day came.  I was wrong it just got worst. On the end of the second day I couldn't stand up on my own and the doctor said go to the emergency room.  I have been told this on a few other occasions and in the back of my head I almost didn't go because I thought they would just send me home.

My brother took me and my sister-in-law took the boys just in case; what a blessing because they did admit me.  I had to have emergency surgery for an abscessed intestine with a hole in it that was leaking poison into my stomach.  If I hadn't come in it could of killed me.  My family and friends rushed to the hospital to be with me while I waited for surgery; God puts so many people at your side when you need them, even strangers! 


God sent me an Angel that day, a doctor from Cleveland Clinic.  The emergency doctor was going to send me home, and a doctor from Cleveland Clinic came in and said he thought that the doctor was wrong and I should get a second opinion.  I told him yes I would like one and he examined me and said I need a surgeon now.  He also advised me to get an infectious doctor.   A half hour later and I was in surgery.  If it was not for the Cleveland Clinic doctor I would of died!  My boys would of not had a mother anymore and I would not be here to guide them to adulthood. 

I spent five days in the hospital and I thanked the doctor for saving my life.  The doctor said, I did not save you God did, he sent me to you that day.  I said yes he did he sent me an Angel and gave the doctors the knowledge to help me.

I came home from the hospital with a temporary colostomy, and a pic for antibiotics that I had to take through an IV for two weeks.  My mom came up to take care of me from Florida for 2 weeks. My sister-in- law came over everyday to help do the IV and do any running around that I needed.  She continues to help me as I get well.

All my family and friends have been here to help me as I re cooperate and God heals me. I am also thankful for the people (angels) that help you even when you don't know they are there; the silent helpers.
I am so thankful for this second chance to be able to finish raising my family and have the time to spend with everyone.

So as the New Year comes in I praise God for all the people that are in my life and all the Angels he has sent  to help me.  I know that God has a bigger plan for me and I will wait patiently while he reveals it.

Have Perseverance and know God is Always with you.  Be Strong, Be Safe, Be Thankful for all your have. Give your family and friends a hug, tell you love them daily.    Live today as if it was your last day, for we are blessed by everyday that God give us.   Do not hold grudges for life is short.  Give thanks to God daily for all you have, for you are truly blessed.

 Have a Great New Year.

TOUGH COOKIES

We are not in the land of Oz any more and it has been a very hard transition from one place or another.  The children enjoyed being able to have more freedom and I didn't have to worry about where they were or who they were with.

My home was robbed and I had to rush home without being ready to transition from one place to another easily.  It is very hard to get over someone coming in your house and going through your things.  I have insurance but it just can't replace items that had sentimental values.  I am very nervous when I unlock the door in the fear that someone has been in my home.  They where very careful not break anything and to make all look normal, I didn't notice I had been robbed until I went in my room.

I can not get over the feeling of being violated, and every time I think I am over it I find something else missing that I didn't realize.  Although we are fine and safe it took some time before the children where able to sleep in their rooms.  I guess it just goes back to how safe we was in the land of Oz and how violated I now feel in the Big Cold World. I know we will get through it but it is such an awful feeling, when something like this happens.

The eye opener though is how many people run to your assistance and lend a helping hand emotionally and physically.  I am very thankful to those who helped me fix items and feel more secure.  I am also thankful to all who listened and let me cry on their shoulders and gave me emotional support.  Thank You for continuing to get me through all the emotions of being angry, mad, and sad.  I feel blessed that we was not here when it occurred and that God kept us safe.

My family and I are tough cookies we will get through this and move on to the next challenge.  REMEMBER, God is always out there; he provides us with courage, faith, support,strength, family and friends. Also remember my favorite word, "PERSEVERANCE".

Summer is Almost Over

It has been a wonderful summer, I have really enjoyed spending time with my children.  We have been able to renew our bond with each other, without the hassles of a hurried life.   It is unfornunate that very often as parents we loose the bond that we once had with our children when they were younger.

Our lives become very rushed with having to be here or there for this or that.  I feel it is very important to be able to bond with your children and reconnect as often as possible to have a healthy relationship for you can handle the up and downs as they are thrown at you.

I will be going back to work shortly and know that my life will again become hectic and busy trying to squeeze everything in a day.  I can not believe how quickly summer has went by, the leaves are changing colors more and more everyday.  I know that winter is next and I am not looking forward to leaving campground Oz in a few short months.

We will all have to adjust to city life, and I am sure it will be a little rough for all of us until we get used the hustle and bustle.  As the cold winter days go by we will be counting the days until we can return here.

It makes me very sad to know the day to return to the city is getting close, I wish we could stay here all year. I feel my family is very protected from all the issues out there in the Big Cold World.

I am sure though if we here all year we would not enjoy OZ as much as we do now.  Enjoy what is left of the summer, I know we will.

It's Great Being 10 Years Old!

John is having a great summer here at Campground Oz, we live at camp during the summer.  We hate going to town, and love the relaxed environment that we have here.

John loves being 10 years old, he feels he has more freedom and can do more things independently.  He has really taken off this year.  He has finally started swimming on his own although he knew how last year. He was just so scared of everything that he was afraid to try.  He was swimming on top and one of my dearest friends gave him a swim mask and now he is swimming like a fish.

He also decided to ride his bike which has been a battle for about 3 years.  He was telling his friend how to ride his, so I said "John that sounds like good advice you should try that yourself".  He then went and got his bike, got on it and rode it!  I was amazed, I was yelling "He's riding his bike, John your doing it"!   It has been a great summer here! 

John has not had any melt downs and in fact both children are doing well.  I am sure there will be many adjustments in November.  I wish we could be here all year round.

Hope everyone else is enjoying the summer, enjoy your children they grow up very fast.

They think they are adults

Ahh, teenagers.  It takes a great deal of tolerance to raise them, patience, and the ability to let things go.  It is always good to remember that the next day starts anew, and you get to start over and try again.


It is amazing how soon they want the privileges of being an adult, but not the responsibilities of an adult.  It is very hard for them to see why they can't have those rights.  It takes a lot of patience to finish raising them, without wanting to  throw your hands up!


I feel our society has given our children too much freedom and they grow up so much faster than we did when we were younger.  Our children are still not mature enough to handle the outside world.


I have raised one teenager already and I have two more to go.  God will give me the strength I hope to finish the job, for this one is a lot different from my oldest.   He has no sense of time no matter what I do, to help him remember what time it is, I guess that is part of the ADHD.


One more thing to remember is that every child is different so what worked for the last teenager is not going to work for the next one.  Sometimes by the time you figure out what approach to use they are grown.


Oh well, we will get through it, for God never gives us more than we can handle.
Good Luck to all experiencing raising a teenager.  I wish you peace, patience, tolerance, moxy and the ability to let go of their mistakes.

Summer

I apologize for the long pause since my last post.  We are now in campground land until October.  I love it here, it is very relaxing.  The children have a great deal of freedom with a less restrictive environment.  The boys are doing great.

  I will be home schooling both children in school this year through Treca academy.  John is still excelling and will be restarting school in July, he is currently in the 5th grade at the half way mark.  He will pick up where he left off, that is the beauty of Treca the children can work at their own rate.

I hope everyone is enjoying the summer as we are and having a chance to relax.

Ahhhh Spring is Here!

It has been a very long winter here, and I am thrilled that the weather is finally getting warm.   I love getting up in the morning and hearing the birds sing.  It has been rainy here but at least it is warmer. 

We are now getting ready for camping.  It is time to pull the stuff out of the attic, and clean the camper.   I love camping and so do the kids; we have really missed it all winter long.  Camping is just a different style of life, it is hard to explain unless you have experienced it.

We have a permanent site and I just can't wait until we are there, ready and camping again.  My life is more relaxed there and not as stressful.  It will be a little different this year because John will still be doing Treca a couple hours a day.

 Home schooling is going well.   John will be moved up to 5th grade in 2 weeks, and possibly 6th by the end of the summer at the rate he is going. He really is excelling, he loves the independence and less distractions. Kieth will be doing summer school with them for he can catch up on what he didn't pass, and get a jump on next year.

We will be leaving shortly today to set things up, the season is finally here!  Yeah!  We made it through the long winter.

Spring Break/Vacation

We have been on vacation for a few days.  It is hard to maintain a normal schedule when you are on vacation.  You are trying to see new and interesting sights and schedule all of it into a few days. 
Normal routines are very important to maintain stability in the life of a Bi-Polar child and a ADHD child, but very often normal routines end up getting thrown out the window due to the pace of fitting everything in.

 My bp child also has OCD which only complicates things a little more.  I have found that it helps to plan an activity every other day and to leave room for adjustments to be made if the need occurs.  It is important for  parents to be flexible and understand that the vacation will run smoother when you are open  to adjust activities if the children become too anxious or overwhelmed. 

It is equally important to let the children have a part in what you will see and the planning of when the sights will be seen.  Having a flexible but planned activities helps the children to transition easily and to know what to expect next.  We review the schedule the night before and plan what we will wear, what time we need to get up, when we will be leaving etc.

Always remember it is not how much you can fit in, but the quality that you experience it in.  You should be able to  accept that things don't always go as planned, and that is okay.  The most important thing is that you are getting the opportunity to be together as a family and get away from the hustle and bustle of everyday life.

 Our vacation has went fairly well due to the fact that although we are very busy trying to fit everything in we are still taking time to relax, rest, and enjoy the time away.   We are having a great time and having fun.

Home Schooling

I am now Home schooling John through Treca digital Academy. It is not the path that I wanted to take, but I knew eventually that  it was the road we would be on. 

Treca has a wonderful program which allows John to work at his own pace.  Treca works within a 12 block system in each subject, you can not move ahead until one block is completed.  John is completing one block  a week, this is not normal speed for students.  He will probably be moving into 5th grade by next month, I feel that Treca is a good choice for him for they will continue to challenge him.  The Public School was not able to challenge him academically and this sometimes caused him to become bored and frustrated.

I made the choice to home school him because the  public school system was not able to accommodate John's special needs, they did not feel he qualified because he has high academic scores.  The school system did not want to label him as having a emotional disability.

It is always very complicated when your child does not fit into the "normal" standards that most children do.  I often feel that our society expects all children to fit into a square hole and when your child does not fit into this standard they are not able to accommodate you.   I believe that our society feels that we should all fit into a uniformity and when we don't there is a concern.

Along with home schooling you still have to maintain your child having social functions for they can learn how to interact appropriately with others.  John is involved in boy scouts and through Treca he will be going on field trips. 

I have also found out through a variety of concerts of different types of music that Jazz seems to calm his rages.  Music can very often soothe are souls.  John is still on the same medications, but at times they make him very tired.

We will keep trying

It is very hard to write this entry for I am very discouraged.  John is again having to try yet another medication.   I had so much hope that we would not have to go through the adjusting and re-adjusting to another medication, but so much for that.

John is currently taking the following vitamin supplements:
2400 mg. of fish oil
375 mg. of choline
1000 mg. of B12
1000 mg. of vitamin D3
100 mg. of magnesium
Daily multi- vitamin

Unfortunately vitamin supplements was not enough to maintain John's mood stability and temperament.
John was suspended from school for 5 days last week.  A group of children in his class was calling him names, and John was not able to slow down his thought process to the point of him getting help.  He became very angry and tried to stop the children from calling him names, he then totally lost it.   John had to be removed from the class and picked up from school.   The doctor advised me to try vyvanse 30 mg.  the next day and then .5 of resperdol with the vyvanse the following day.

The first day of vyvanse he could not sit still or stop talking, and he had extreme dry mouth.  John did not go to sleep until 3 am in the morning.  Today (day 2) is better he does not have the dry mouth.  The uncontrolled talking has stopped.  I feel the resperdol helped him to calm his need to constantly stay moving some part of his body.

It is not easy to be a Bi polar child and equally it is not easy to be the parent either.  It is very hard to just watch your child have these concerns and not to know how to help them.  I feel mothers of Bi polar children  are very strong, caring, understanding, and have a over flowing amount of unconditional love.  We will keep trying, trying, and trying.
We have God in our corner and will not give up.

Enough is Enough!

I feel sometimes that doctors are too fast to place your child on yet another medication.  It is very hard to find the right mix that works for your child, for every child reacts differently to medication.

The other factor is the sinking feeling of is the medication prescribed really helping my child?  I have found myself in this boat unfortunately or fortunately, I'm not sure which at this point.

My bp sons medication is not working again, he is still having aggression issues and severe temper tantrums.  His aggression seems to be on the rise since the doctor eliminated the amantadine from his mixtures of meds.  Yesterday the doctor prescribed abilify to replace resperdol, the thought of the side effects of this medication is just too scary for me to administer it to my child.  John does not have suicidal thoughts and I am not going to administer a med to my child that may or may not cause these side effects.

I guess the red flag to this was when the pharmacist asked why is your doctor prescribing this medication for your son; he is not old enough to take this?  The pharmacist thought I should reconsider the use of this medication.

So last night I decided to take the holistic approach and starting treating my son with natural remedies, of course I am doing this with a physician's directions.
The doctor eliminated the clonidine and the resperdol for John's medication.  John is now taking the amantadine to help control the rages he is taking a 1/2 tsp. in the morning and at night.  John started 1200 mg. of fish oil today and will take it daily, the doctor feels his system may have a deficiency of omega 3.   We are increasing his daily vitamin of B 12 and B6 he will be taking this with his normal daily vitamins.

Sometimes are body does not have enough of vitamins or omega 3 in our diet and when this occurs it can cause the body to have unstable results such as symptoms of bipolar disease, adhd, or many other concerns.

I will be keeping a journal of how the changes effects him, I feel this is a more healthy approach for John since the medications are not helping him.  We may need to add St. John's Wort to the holistic medicine, but we will do this slowly for we can monitor the changes of the vitamins added.

I will keep you posted as we journey down this road.  I hope the journey is the right one.

Here We Go Again

My bp child has had medication changes as I previously posted.  He is currently on risperdal which he takes .5 in the morning and .5 in the early evening.  He is also taking clonidine to help him sleep at night.  He was previously on amantadine, intuniv, and a lower dosage risperdal. 

I am seeing the effects of the medication change now, he is very jumpy and the mania and giddiness have returned.  He is having a hard time controlling his anger.  He is not able to control his anger or the  constant quick changes in his temperament.  John has been experiencing frustration when he can not control his actions.

John's psychologist suggested that  I should have a multi-faucet evaluation done, he wants the school to establish an IEP and a 504 plan.  These tools can help John by  accommodating his special needs and develop a plan to help him to succeed in school.

The psychologist has suggested that we might have to again add another med.  It seems that the warning sign to a medication change is when they start to grow or have to adjust too many changes in their day.  John has always had trouble with transitioning to different classes.  I am concerned about if he will be able to handle junior high and high school.   I feel that in the future that he will have to be home schooled.

Sometimes you can almost hear the changes coming it is , "The calm before the storm".

Every Which Way: Changes and Adjustments

Every Which Way: Changes and Adjustments: "It seems as if I am always making changes and adjustments in my life. Usually the adjustments that are made are due to the changes that hav..."

Changes and Adjustments

It seems as if I am always making changes and adjustments in my life.  Usually the adjustments that are made are due to the changes that have occurred within my children lives. 
My Bi polar child John is experiencing a great deal of changes currently in his life.  I decided to have him re-evaluated; it never hurts to make sure everything is as it should be.  I was not currently happy with his doctor or therapist.

The re-evaluation was eye opening.  John is still diagnosed with early onset Bi polar.  The psychologist felt that John was on the wrong medication.  He was taking 3/4 tsp. of Amantadine in the morning, Intuniv at 5pm, and then .5 of Risperdal at night.  John was experiencing fatigue during school and very often fell asleep in class.

The new psychologist changed all his meds taking off the Amantadine, the Intuniv, and increasing the Risperdal .25 in morning, .5 at night.  The thought of changing his meds was terrifying to me for I did not want to return to the school calling each day to pick him up.  I just sat in the waiting room while he was talking to John almost in tears.

We did try the which though, you always have to hope for an improvement for your child and that was the reason I witched doctors to begin with.  The change in the meds did work I  have seen a very tired child go to be energetic which is a good change.  John's mood seems to be more stable too.  He has not had an aggressive mood swing that is full blown, they appear to be more manageable.

John has been on the Risperdal increase for approximately three weeks.  The doctor did add Clonidine to the mix last week which is helping as well.  The doctor ordered a blood test to check John's blood sugar.  Diabetes runs in our family and Risperdal in some cases can increase a child's blood sugar. 

The results of the blood test was that John is pre-diabetic. 
We are currently changing his diet and hopefully we can maintain his blood sugar at normal level.  The whole household decided that we all would change are diet for John does feel deprived or tempted to eat items that might raise his sugar.   I'm sure it won't hurt any of us to eat more healthy food anyway!

I hope the changes that occur in John's life continue to be positive.  I am concerned about the thought of him also becoming diabetic.  John has managed to inherit everything from my ancestors and his dad's ancestors.  I guess it is just something else we have to add to the list.  I am also  very thankful to God that he has helped us receive diagnoses early on before conditions become life threatening.

It's Hard to Let Go

This weekend was home coming weekend for Keith. Keith usually does not participate in social functions, but this weekend he did. He went to the football game on Friday, and then the dance on Saturday; I took him to both events.

In the past these type of events have been challenges. I worried while he was at both events and waited for my phone to ring, but it didn't. I was very anxious about him attending even though I want him to be involved with his friends and school events.

It is very hard to let to go when you worry if it will be disastrous or not. Who said it was going to be easy to let them grow up? Who said we would be glad when it is over? I can remember the child hanging onto my leg and not wanting to go to school. Sometimes it is hard to except the fact that it may be time to let go; at least a little.
I am very pleased that it was a joyful event, and a good experience.

Every Which Way

I am the single mom of 3 wonderful children. My oldest child is grown and is a very successful computer guru.
The ages of my other children are 16 and 9. My sixteen year old (Keith) was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 5 and we continue to have adventures as he grows older.

My youngest (John) was diagnosed with Bi Polar disorder last year. I was always told he was very strong willed and stubborn. He has always had severe tantrums and experienced mania but no one ever suggested that I should have him evaluated until I transferred him again to a new school due to behavioral issues.

I have learned a great deal from therapists, doctors, researchers, and other parents that have experienced the challenges of raising a Bi Polar child. I often feel that the children High 5 each other as we face have challenges with the school system. I have managed to keep both of my children in the public school system which is a challenge in itself.

I very often feel that I am pulled "Every Which Way" in their challenges and adventures, but I strive to hold on and guide them through the challenges that they face.

This Blog hopefully will help others understand the challenges, joys, and adventures of our life. I hope to provide others with insight and help you know that your are not alone.